12.30pm, my bf called...lunch time...ok ok, had my shower and called him back, picked me up 10 mins later. We had KFC and then to Sunshine Square...he went to search for his 'corong' to pour his coolant for his car...while I shopped for blouse...later he joined me, I tried some jeans. I wanted to try more but I could see he's bored although he said it's ok. Went to grocery there, bought my toothbruch, cotton pads, Julie loveletters (to treat my colleages, pai seh, last week, they cook nasi lemak and treat me), some crackers.
I think I am over budget a bit since I bought quite alot yesterday. Also, gave Sako RM 300 for CNY ang pow.
By 3.10pm, back at my bf's place. He kacau me, tickling me...actually I feel irritated, told him not to...but he thought it was funny. I almost shouted my ex's name when I wanted to look serious and ask him to stop. OOppss...luckily I did not...but it wasn't the first occasion I had this tendency to call wrong names. Every time I am with my bf, a corner of my mind was playing thru some questions of whether I really love him. And another was telling me he treats me real nice...he gave me kisses on my cheeks, I did not feel anything....is this a bad sign ? So, I grabbed him and had kiss him on the lips...ok, I did feel something...but again...I wasn't sure was I imagining myself kissing my ex or it was just the joy of kissing someone ?? Duh !!! I am so confused...
Oh...yesterday, on the way to fetch his bro's fren, when it was still just me n my ex in the car, we were talking abt my relationship with my bf...i told him that my bf was being unreasonable when I told him I dun wanna use the toothbrush his sis used (only once) coz it's not good. My bf then said, oh...then how abt my 'there', since it's been used before, then u also 'hiam' is it ? I told my ex, actually I got 'hiam' lo. Then my ex asked me whether we have went into that stage in our relationship. I told him no. I could see he was eager to find out but I do not know for what reasons ? Is he considering me again ? I hope so !!
He went on saying, since I am in doubts, better not to go deeper as my bf will be very hurt. I just kept quiet...then we reached BJC...Kwan (his bro's fren stepped in. And the rest of the stories, I've written earlier.
5.30pm liao...ok, better stop la...need to rest and my bf should be back around 6.30pm from his badminton. Ok, shall update more next time....next time...hmm....will I be single...or still in this mess....or back with my ex ? Only God knows...I will seek His help ! God is always merciful and loving ! AMEN !
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