Jan 24 - Monday Blues

Morning…I dragged going to work. Reached early as there was no jam, guess a lot of factory workers on leave. I still do not know how to do my work...so I pakai hentam. Had lunch with Mei Shya as her lunch mate was away. She asked about me and LX, so I told her things didn’t work out. She asked if I am with my ex now (I wish !!). I told her I still love my ex very much, told her to help pray for me.

She asked if wanna go out with Siew Siew at nite, Baskin Robbin…I didn’t feel like going, coughing and it’s last minute to arrange, dun think my ex or Yoon Khum wanna go out, perhaps wait till Slong is back in Feb.

LX reached home early and at about 5.30pm, he MSNed me if he can fetch me home from work, at the same time, dad called and asked if wanna pack anything for my dinner…I was like...er…no need…er…ok. So, I lied to LX that my dad was on the way to fetch me and already ‘tah pao’ for me.

When LX asked if he could fetch me home, I asked him “Today?”. He said “Yeah, in fact everyday if can”. I asked if he was sure, he replied that it was better than he have to miss me. I went on saying that I don’t wanna give him false hope. He was quiet for awhile, then he replied “Forget about it”. Duh…I thought he wanna be my ‘driver’…but of coz I dun think it’s a good idea at all.

Back home, I showered and have my big pack of economy rice in front of TV. 8.30pm, dad went out to have dinner with Uncle Benny, his ex-boss. Good, I can be alone. I went upstairs, stomachache…constipation ma. After that, I wanted to update my blog but too lazy, so instead, I unwrapped my Feng Shui book by Peter So. Interesting, some better luck for Dragon this year, esp. for those who are not fixed income earner. This is probably the best time for me to try something… I am kind of sick of office work…it’s just not me, sitting there doing routine job. I need to out there, talking, moving around, something flexbile…ok, let’s see what my bro has to offer (calling him…25-01-05 10.30pm). He said around RM 2 – 3k. I said I thought like RM 5k ! He said RM 2k…walau eh, the RM 2k was what he owed me last time from the quick rich scheme…so, RM 1k is the interest, final – RM 3k! I have to pluck in the figure in my excel file later in office.

I also read about Snake’s luck for the Rooster year coz my ex is one year younger than I. Found some months we have similarities, esp in relationships, we won’t be finding new love for those singles. In his 5th month, it says it’s a month of temporary relationship and he might have sex with someone he’s known for a while !! WHO ?? !! Negative : Who the hell is she ?! Positive : Me!! Me !! Me !! Yes !! It also says the chance of making it into long term relationship is slim… Kill me please !! I quickly flipped back to dragon – 5th month, and here is what’s written : The date you met last month seems very compatible with u and u have a good time with him. Just sit back and enjoy.
Hmm…how can I enjoy if it’s not my ex ?? And for his sign, it says the following month, the relationship didn’t work and he stop keeping in touch, so…it’s not me !! :(
As for mine, the next month says I will be busy and less in touch. Perhaps little similarity ? I almost go crazy thinking about this…I know I am a bit extreme into Feng Shui now…but I can’t help it. I love him too much…sometimes I think…do I really love him so much or I just led myself into believing it ? Sigh ~~ !!

Dad called to see if I wanted supper, I said no, hoping that my ex would call me.

I called
24-01-05 10:28:35pm Mon
I called my ex…I miss him. He was outside, driving. He said on the way to eat. I asked who with, he said alone, in fact was just parking at the famous economy bee hoon near my house. I said “Hor, u go so near to eat, din call me”. He said “huh, everytime also ask u meh?”. Then he said ok, coming over now. So, like the speed of lightning, I changed and combed my hair. He was already in front waiting. I SMSed dad that I was out for supper. Ooops !! Notty me.

He ordered for me, add egg for me although I said no need. Saw my dad bought bread and kuih. I guess he must be surprised seeing me with my ex…but it should solved his puzzle why I’ve been staying home after work and asking him to fetch me back from work.

When eating, I told my ex about what I read, esp the 5th month. He asked why my sudden keen interest in Feng Shui. I just shrugged and smiled (it because of YOU!!). I then said it has been 5 months since we broke off, he agreed saying it’s coming to half year. I asked if he has had sex with any other girls…he said no…he asked…how…just go anywhere? I said, well…maybe to the girl’s place, hotel, car…he scolded me…he said he’s not that cincai and stupid…need to watch his reputation…and he’s fine with masturbating ! Yeah !! He’s still clean :)

Later he asked what time I usually have my dinner, I said quite early, around 6pm, so usually digested. Half way eating, LX called and asked if I was already sleeping. Told him I was outside having supper. He said ok and hung up. My ex said I should at least accompany LX once a while…but I am afraid to give him wrong expectation. He then joked that “ya lo, like me, I told u upfront, so u won’t have any expectations”. My heart went sour…but I put up a smile anyway.
He also talked about going to China to work for maybe 2 years to earn more money, faster. I listened half-heartedly…and ‘supported’ him. Went back home 11.50pm.

I called LX after my shower. He asked why other ppl managed to date me but he always failed ? Er…I told him his timing was wrong…if he wants, he can ask before 4pm so that I can inform my dad. Talked for awhile coz he has to work next day. I slept late, around 3.30am.