2005 - Getting closer to my Ex

He called
01-01-05 11:43:48am Sat
He called me to chat while waiting to fetch Rudy (his ex-boss) to airport. Rudy has resigned and going to Jakarta with family to do business. I was surprised he called me. Maybe b’coz I called him at around 2.30am to wish him Happy New Year and ‘check’ where he was. He was at Glo, a new disco pub near Garage. He told me Gavin also there, dancing…my ex danced on the counter. He sound so excited when he told me. Hmm…now only starts to enjoy…actually in my heart, I feel abit sour…I was afraid to hear that he found any target. We chatted for awhile, then he said Rudy in the car liao, so talk next time.

I called
03-01-05 09:23:00pm Mon
I called to chit chat, to tell him what happened btwn me and my bf. Again, he asked me to come out to talk/drink. We went to the hawkers near the Aquarium shop nearby. He had the Economy Char Bee Hoon. I did not eat as still full, earlier had rice and 2 dishes with my bf liao. He asked if I told my bf I went out with him. I said no. My bf already told me he prefers not to know. He said he has stopped checking my phone, so had I. Anyway, had a good time talking with my ex.


I called
04-01-05 9:33:32pm Tues
I asked if he wanna have dinner. He was actually leaving work for home. He said he will check if his mom cooked, will call me later…not sure.

He called
04-01-05 10:04:51pm Tues
He called back, said coming over. We went to Taman Pekaka, coffee shop. I had Malay burger while he had dry koay teow. We chatted till around almost 12am.


I called
05-01-05 10:55:19pm Wed
I thought of chatting with him but it went straight to his voice message. Wanted to update him on what happened to Jennifer’s team (taken over by Christina Ong – yep, the girl who back-stabbed me, I almost did not get transferred to CA dept). So I sent him SMS instead. I told him I just got back from Chill Up (had dinner with Jen, Clarissa, Yen Nee and Gavin. Chris joined in for drinks later. We had great time talking for 4 hours !) and they have 2 ppl singing, a girl and a guy, nice voices. Chris said the guy looks handsome (‘one-side’ – according to his PLU term), but he cannot determine if the guy is straight or PLU.


I called
05-01-05 11:29:30pm Wed
I tried calling my ex again but still cannot get thru, my guess was either he’s on the line ‘cooking porridge’ or off his phone, maybe in cinema (with who leh?!!)

Called my bf then, he was watching his Dragon Ball cartoon which he d/loaded from net. He had been bz watching this 100 over series…made me bored, so that was why I told him to send me home after dinner. He wasn’t happy…and then today again I ‘pit’ him coz have dinner with my ex-colleagues. He sudah merajuk…dun wanna eat dinner earlier, then ate after I asked if he purposely acted that way. I told him I was hungry, wanted to go downstairs to hunt for food. He offered to fetch me out for supper but I said no need since he said he wasn’t hungry.
So, I had buns, was reading the newspaper when I received his SMS – “I’m having supper now, later go home n sleep…u too, sleep early”. Hmm…makes me wonder if he was out with Shirin, but I dun wanna care too much, anyway I myself secretly went out with my ex a number of times (just purely chatting and dinner/drinks), almost every week. I replied to my bf asking him to call me before sleep. Well, he seems ok but can sense he was not happy. Sigh !! I feel he’s either possessive or very much insecure abt this relationship, but I cannot blame him. Duh ! I feel so bad.

He SMSed me:
06-01-05 02:04:29am Thurs
Wah…U go out until now ah..
Tomorrow no need
To work meh. Me
Going to sleep now.
Good9

I was already sleeping actually…am a very light sleeper, woke up to the slightest sound, even the sound of pin drops will wake me. I was surprised he replied me, but so late ? 2am only he replied…hmm…wondered where he went. I replied back “No ah, came back early. U go yet (typo error, shd be wet) ah ? Of is (typo error again, shd be yr) phone is it ? Update u next time la.”

Just now (06-01-05 11pm), he showed me back this SMS and asked what I typed. Hahaha…told him I was too sleepy…did not check the error. This morning I wrote email asking him where he went, his phone cannot thru. He said he did not off hp or chatting too long…but had problem send’g SMS to 012’s line. So, we concluded that Maxis line was down / delayed. Duh ~!!


I SMSed him :
06-01-05 09:40pm Wed
Did u Donate (Tsunami) thru Maxis? I tried, it sent back confirmation, so it’s not fake. The funeral (Jean Khoo’s dad passed away last nite, victim of hit & run bus driver) on Sat, so r u going tomorrow nite ? Let us know la.

He called
06-01-05 9:48:45pm Wed
He asked, what donation…asked if he received SMS from Maxis regarding donation thru SMS, he said no, but had donated quite a lot, thru Dell and Ah Chai’s temple. He asked if my bf has badminton tonite as he cannot remember. We talked awhile, then he said he will call me later as he was playing badminton.

He called
06-01-05 10:27:08pm Wed
Asked me out for dinner as he just finished playing badminton. He was at my house waiting 5 mins later. I changed into T-shirt and 3 quarter pants quickly. We went to the food court near my house again. I had Chee Cheong Fun while he had Char Hor Fun. Told him abt what happened to Jennifer’s department ( my ex boss – Warranty Billable Service ) – close shop. Also told him that my bf scolded Shirin for not taking Jean’s dad’s news seriously, she called to ask, joking or serious, dun lie la…she thought it was a joke ! Goodness, where got ppl joke abt death ! Somemore on a friend’s dad. Memang padan muka !

My ex asked if it’s ok for him to borrow my bathroom as his bathroom’s tiles still wet, his house on renovation. He asked me to inform my dad before going to my house. So, he was there, perhaps one last time…but it’s a one time, which I never thought could happen J
I was happy inside although not expecting anything to happen. He even advise me to sleep earlier when he knows I usually waits till my bf calls me after his badminton, which is around 12.30 to 1.30am. He suggested for me to take health food, bird nest, whatsoever for beauty and health as I am not young anymore and need to sleep more. Am happy that he still care for me. He was actually making ‘business’ in the toilet when he talked…he advised me to seriously consider abt my future coz as a woman; I need to have a secure and stable financial situation…at least not to lend too much money to my bf. I appreciate his concern and advise…but I told him I cannot leave my bf now as he will be starting his new job soon in Feb and I do not want him to be affected. Moreover I am not sure if the decision to leave my bf is what I really wanted. I do love him but my love for him is based on his love for me…is not strong enough. I enjoyed him pampering me, his patience and care…he can really tolerate me…not like my ex. But yet I still long to be back in my ex’s arms…IF Only…my ex knows how much I love him, how much I am willing to sacrifice for him. U must be thinking I am silly, not appreciating my bf…well…I dunno, I just love my ex too much…I’ve never love someone so much. I am sorry (my bf), really…I dun mean to hurt U !!