Jan 11 - Break Up?!

Yesterday after dinner, went to my bf's place. I was reading the Chinese Horoscope, it mentioned something about Dragon being too busy with career and affecting relationhip. So, I jokingly told him that we should separate now before it's too late. Then, I asked if he will still fetch me if we are no longer together, how abt I hire him ? He said anything I want...that time he was still ok. But I went on telling him I was serious. He then kept quiet and went to sleep (as usual, he sleeps when he's sad/angry).

He fetched me back around 11.30pm, we didn't go for supper. He was quiet, only responded when I call him or talk to him, but didn't talk....it was just "hmmm....yes, no, not angry...."
Well, I can understand his pain...I know how hurt he is but I try not to think. I know he did cry but not in front of me...I kind of appreciate him for not crying in front of me coz I know and maybe he knows I will go soft again...then it will be back to Square 1. I know he is a very good guy, but it's me...I cannot love him completely, not now at least, but I dun wanna lie to him or hold him...told him I do love him. He said he knows.

1am, I haven't changed yet, my beloved sis called from Canada, spoke to my dad, then I talked to her. She wants to try selling fried chicken...which is good. I am happy for her, at least she can do something she likes there. It's gonna be special chicken to the Ah Mos.

I called my bf (not sure if should still call him my bf now), he sounded the same, like before he sent me home. He was sniffing now and then...I guess he cried. I wish him goodnite. Then, I SMSed my ex to tell him abt my break (I know I should not inform, but I just feel I need to).

I SMSed
21-01-05 01:00am
R u asleep?


He SMSed
21-01-05 01:03:16am
Starting to.. y

I called him. He was quite concern how my bf felt...he listened for awhile before I wish him goodnite and wash my clothes. Shit, I sleep late again, around 2.30am !

This morning, I called my bf (maybe later I will call him my LX - Latest eX) to check how he is. He sounded ok. Then I was already busy at my new mentor's (Chin Keow) place.