Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Strength and Patience

Changed n reshuffle bed n mattresses pattern 8 times in 2 days. I m at lost how to make him more comfortable n less pain. His legs keep having cramps n body ache...if only i can become robot to massage him whole night. Sit cannot ...lie down not comfortable..walk cannot..
Carry him up now n then. Think my bone cracked a bit more today cleaning n attending to him.
I still survive..thank God. I have to remind myself constantly not to make any hint of my own pain.

My pain level is 4 while dad's pain level is around 7 out of I must bear no matter how.

Advice to all...remember not to be afraid to disturb yr kids or those helping you..if you really need something or help. By keeping silent n tolerating the discomfort, u end up causing more pain to yourself and everyone else around u.
Because u were worried or afraid to ask or voice out, u suffer n torture yourself n ppl around u.
Please say n tell what u need. It solves the problem faster n more directly.
I feel guilty for raising my voice talking to dad. Felt bad he said sorry to me coz I was frustrated he didn't tell me he wasn't comfortable with the 'New' mattress.
I know he didn't want to disturb me but He kept groaning in pain n discomfort.
I asked almost ten times if the mattress ok...he said ok...slowly much later said dunno y not comfortable.
I had to drill n drill then only he agree to revert back to previous pattern num 7.
I know he worried for my back. But I can't control my frustration of him not telling me n suffering like that.
Sometimes I feel like crying but I must not. My pain is nothing compared to his.
I ask God to give me strength n patience.
I ask God to ease his pain. Let the bacteria be killed n my dad be healed.