LX wrote me an email at around 6am :
why I get punish for the mistake I made the 1st time... u didn't give me chance to improve or change!!
it just 1 week and the attitude from u toward me had change... its really hurts seeing someone I love suddenly ignore me in such a short period of time... I donno what happen, I'm still bler bler, all this things happen so fast, and I'm not ready to take it... I know u gotta plan for your future, me too. I'm no younger than u, I'm planing for my future too... but sometimes bad things keeps on happen around me makes me depressed. I thought I got someone beside me to encourage me to go through this, but now it all back to square 1 again...sorry for telling all these non-sense thing to u... I can't sleep, keeps on waking up every 2 hour...I miss you, really really miss you...
Love you
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My reply to him:
I am not punishing you, i know u cannot think right...in fact u will simply think. I've been thru this, that was why I was contemplating whether to tell u or not earlier. I truly understand yr feelings. I feel very sorry to have to do this. But I do not want to lie to u and me.
It's not 1 week...all these things happended from beginning...little little some things accumulated over time. I did let u know few times I wanted a cool off period but either u did not take it seriously or u won't let me have the time to think things over at my side.
Hate me if u must or feel better...I just want to have some time for myself now. I dun want to be with you and at the same time my heart is not fully with u...I am sure you know how difficult it is, for u as well...u might say it's ok at first, but soon...we will argue again, trust is not there...
I hope u will take this opportunity to do well in yr new job or self development. U are a smart person, u have the skills and knowledge, it's just that u didn't have the chance to excel it. It's for yr own benefit. Dun think too much...love is not everything. I used to think I cannot live without love, I've changed...I have different priorities now. I dun mean to hurt you, seriously...I thought we would work things out, but I realise I want to focus on my own future first. I want to be single at this moment, I want to try achieve my dreams.
Hope u can understand. U will still have my support...we are still friends. I wish u all the best. Let's leave this to destiny ok.
Take care.
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