Mar 23 – Insecure

Sheaw Phing called me in the morning, told me next Sat, ING got walk-in interview. No thanks, me not interested in Sales. She could hear my sleepy voice but surprised I could still talk (told her I slept at around 6am). She said me ‘ho mia’ …no need to work. In fact quite a number of ppl thought so. Well, I can’t blame them…they must be thinking I am rich…hah…if only they know that my $ is getting less by the day and how insecure I feel abt my bank account depreciating day by day. I am not in a hurry to work though, coz I really need this break. U dun always get this sort of rest. I know I am gonna be very busy when I start working…so might as well enjoy my ‘vacation’ now doing what I like or just waste the day with beauty sleep :p

My third aunt came over with the beads and we watched American Idol together over Nescafe :) I am a little disappointed with Anwar Robinson’s choice of song…he could be better. Mikalah sounded a little out of tune to me…my guess is she might be the next one voted out. Let’s hope Carrie Underwood stays till final 3.

I didn’t do any beadwork, just catch up with 2 days’ newspaper in btwn TV programmes. For lunch, I had 2 slices of toasted bread with Tuna again but was hungry by 5pm. Dad came back early today, Sako was still around. Hmm…luckily they didn’t argue or what. Sako left slightly after 5pm and I went upstairs to my room…had my Korean MP3 cd on and dance a little to the songs before I decided to lie on my bed while waiting for Meow to come over. Called Y.Nee to tell her I won’t be collecting the negative (of pix) from her as K.Services have yet to prepare my EA form. Dunno what is taking them so long…even Allstaff had mine ready. Anyway, got about 1 month plus before the submission dateline (Income Tax).

Meow and I had fried rice nearby his house, coz wanted to accompany his bro to buy some furniture stuff (getting married). There’s this cat which goes “Meow ….meow…meow all the way” begging for food. And my Meow “meow” along with it….duh…competition ? Hahaha…!! I think two third of my prawns and ‘char siew’ went into her tummy.

Turned out his bro not free, so we had a short nap. I didn’t wanna sleep too much coz afraid tonight cannot sleep. His PC connection problem wor, cannot surf…played minesweeper till I fed-up, I am not good with games…so I explore his PC, so many files…hehehe. Later he woke up, watched documentary on Chinese art and calligraphy, I watched along. Pretty much a peaceful day huh.

We had roti canai for supper. I asked if he’s having any problem/worries lately. He asked why? I told him I feel he’s not as attentive to me as before…maybe this is what happens ppl get comfortable in a relationship. Maybe I am giving him too much attention…is he suffocated ? I didn’t know how…so my mind wanders while he drove me back. I guess he realised something was wrong coz suddenly he put his hand on my lap. And tonight, he leaned over to kiss me (usually I leaned over) before I got off his car. Heh…I felt reassured, am happy again. And tonight, he said “I love U” first…he didn’t say for few days liao…I like to hear it…I like to be assured, yep…call me the insecure love freak. Later I told him how I felt. I dun want us to take each other for granted. I’ll try my best to make sure history does not repeat. I cannot imagine going thru another heartache.

Meow called around 1am to tell me he’s at GH…gave me a scare…it was a guy who rented a room at his house…have some problem with his bladder. Meow sent his there. I called him an hour later, he just got home. The guy got a jab. I hope Meow has enough rest.