Mar 19 – Meow upset with me

It’s the first time Meow ignored me. I was taken aback coz it never crossed my mind that Meow would actually be angry at me. It was my fault…Jealousy it the main culprit. I couldn’t help it. Ever since my ex dumped me, I feel fragile. Any human, any thing is a possible threat to my relationship.

Meow came back from supper (after badminton) and told me he’s going jogging with his colleagues in the morning…around 7am…and at that time he informed me, it was around 1.30am. Knowing very well I am not an outdoor person, I wouldn’t join him…but that would mean he will be having very little sleep and most probably back near to lunch time (breakfast with them). He told me it was his male colleague who invited…but later I found out, it was his female colleague (let’s call her YT) who called. I confronted him, he said, one call another, so ended up YT called him.

Now, why I was so upset and uncomfortable over a normal jogging outing ?

1. I kept hearing him mentioning about YT lately.
2. YT is usually the one calling him for any gathering – coincidence ?
3. YT sent him quite a few SMS, even when he was away for training in KL.
4. YT is young and pretty (although a bit plump...said to have bf).
5. I noticed YT likes to stare at him and half the time at me when we went out together. Could that be envious stare?
6. I was disappointed over the sudden arrangement coz I was very much looking forward to spending the whole day with Meow.
7. Meow told me later they wanted to join us for movie. I dun mind the movie, but why so much activities with them eh ?

I can list a few more but never mind…after all, I appeared as the green-eyed monster :[
Of coz I know there are valid reasons…it’s just that sometimes we choose to feel/believe the worst. After all, it was me who asked him to join his own friends more (but I dun like surprises…not this kind…esp. when I was mentally prepared to have him in my arms when I wake up and not finding him away with a potential ‘rival’? Oh oh…I know I am getting sick again). Whatever the reasons…it made me realized something…that I loved Meow a lot and I dun wanna lose him (I was doubting my love for him…I thought I was pouring my love for my ex onto him…but this time, I am sure I love Meow for Meow himself).

Well, we couldn’t sleep till around 5am…we made up and he didn’t go anyway. Nope, I wasn’t really happy that he didn’t go, in fact I did wake him a few times but I guess he was too tired :p

We had late lunch at Gurney’s McD. I met Azian, my ex colleague. She said I looked slimmer….haha…must be my T-Shirt loose kua.

I asked Meow if his colleagues joining us for movies. Saw him on the hp like twice. Later I found out he called a male colleague and then YT…hmmm….ok...ok...this time I had to act dunno…dun care…I hope my intuition is wrong…u know…we women are able to sense what the other is feeling. I should try to have more faith in Meow…I will try. Meow was upset because he said I dun trust his words…he said to me before “I’ll never leave you unless you leave me first”. It was really touching…I am not saying I dun trust him, in fact I wanted so much to trust him, but having gone through so much pain in my previous relationships…made me realise…that promises are sometimes brittle. That’s b’cos we cannot control other factors such as third party, environment, etc. Don’t couples always vow to love one another forever ? Yet...some still part, some divorced. Sometimes it’s better not to promise anything at all…and just be thankful that each day that we are still together.

Turned out that his colleagues have their own programmes, so both of us watched “Hitch” starring Will Smith. A nice romantic comedy. I did not buy any clothes/shoes during our 2 hours wait for the movie to start…what to do, already said will not shop for one month ma.

We were in Gurney from 4pm – 9.30pm. After movie, Meow just drove looking for a place for dinner…the funny thing was…I was thinking about my favourite ‘Char Koay Kak’ at Jelutong (my grandfather’s old coffee shop there – morning there’s market) and I smiled when Meow turned into there and said, “Char Koay Kak” (CKK). Ahh…same channel frequency eh ? It’s usually difficult to find a seat there…esp. near the ‘leng lui thong sui’ stall. The CKK tasted as good as ever, I always tell the guy to “Char Kar Or, Kar Chui, Kar Kiam” (Fry darker, smaller pieces, saltier).

After dinner, back to Meow’s place for a while. Around 12am, my ex called. Oh…what a surprised…ask if I am with Meow, I said yes. He asked us out to ‘Lim Teh” (drink tea), at our old gang’s fav. Place – Nasi Kandar Termashyur (NKT) at Jln. Tengah which we nick named it “Ka Chuak” (cockroach).

Well…few years back, before NKT opened, there was already a small outlet selling Mamak’s food. We liked to hang out there b’cos back then there weren’t other competitors yet (N.K. Kassim Mustafa, Kelante, etc.) and we used to work till late, so that particular outlet was the only place around our area that we can lepak till late. There was once, my 1st ex (my 1st ex, 2nd ex and current bf knows each other) found a little cockroach in his vege dish. He brought his plate of rice and pointed to one of the waiter. To our dismay, that guy used his hand to pick up the insect, threw it onto the ground. He then stepped on it and made 2 – 3 twists with his foot to squash the already dead ‘ka chuak’. What appeared even more amazing to me was, my 1st ex, brought back the same plate and consumed the food, leaving out the vege portion !! Eweee…so u see, whenever we wanted to meet there, we will say “Meet at Ka Chuak”!

Meow and ex ate while I had ‘Teh Tarik’. They talked abt football while I talked arrangement for my dogs (ex to help feed them when I go KL) and abt my new hp and new job. We seemed ok, at least I thought so. But I had a feeling my ex asked us out because I teased him on Thursday nite that he is avoiding us. Oops, yep, I called him and I haven’t been feeling good for not telling Meow. That was why I confessed to Meow today (21st Mar) that I called my ex just to talk…I treated him like one of my friends now. I do call my friends sometimes. Lucky thing Meow wasn’t angry.