Feb 2 - Letting Go

I waited for Soo Fong till 7pm, she was in discussion with her team and boss. I told her, we will discuss only tomorrow since it was already late. I stayed till 7.30pm...just as I was about to leave, big boss came back from his gym. I told him my situation. He said ok, can update him by Friday. As if it's gonna make any difference, still around 1900++ items.

Dun care la. LX fetched me, we had dinner at Taman Pekaka there. The place reminded me of my ex. He usually brings me there...sometimes for the Tao Foo Fah (soya bean curd). After dinner, LX drove along near my house...I guess he didn't want to send me back yet...well, I didn't feel like going home too.
We went to sit near at the field near my house.
I started talking...telling him almost everything. Tears which I had bottlep up since morning flowed freely onto my blouse. He rushed to his car to get me some tissues. He continued to listen while I shed more tears. I felt bad for having to do this, crying over another guy in front of a guy who loves me. I am touched and surprised at the same time. He appeared understanding...listening and consoling me at times...a shoulder to cry on. I told LX it's so difficult, I couldn't cry at home as I do not want my dad to know...to worry abt me. I guess my tears finally stopped after almost an hour.
I told LX I am not going to call my ex and will see how long it takes for him to call...maybe never.

As I started to calm down...my ex called me.

He called
02-02-05 10:16:11pm Wed

Me : Hello ?

Ex : Wait ah wait ah...(can hear some noise in the background)...Sorry...i was testing my speaker phone....huh...say la....

Me : Huh ? U call me wor...u ask me to say...er....?

Ex : Oh...no la, yesterday I promised to call u back...so...now I call u back lo.

Me : I thought everything that's needed to be said was done.

Ex : Ok, emm....so...u've eaten and everything kao tim ?

Me : I had dinner earlier....

** Silence **

Ex : Ok, I am about to sleep, so that's why I call u earlier...

Me : Ok...

Ex : Em..Ok la...nothing liao la...

Me : Ok...bye..

Ex : Em...ok, bye.

LX asked is it because he was around, that I talked in that way...I said no, I just dun feel like asking or talking more with my ex.
We continued to sit there talking, shoo-ing mosquitoes every now and then....till 11pm.

I felt better. Back home...called PL as I promised coz I fly her aeroplane again...didn't feel like going out. Talked on the phone...consoling her...she's sad abt her interview. Hmm...so difficult....myself already depressed...but I still need to play my part as best friend. Maybe this is what God wants me to do, to keep me busy as well. Then, my sis called...she was concerned. Told her I am ok...really...I guess I am learning to let go...slowly...