Feb 1 & 2 - Stabbed deeply

11.30pm I receieved a call from G, ex-colleague. He said he couldn't sleep if he did not tell me. He saw my ex with a girl at Island Plaza, around 8 something. Questions playing in my mind, who is she...why they were together...I sent G a picture immediately from my PC so that he can help me identify if she is one of my ex's classmates. G was consoling me...but I couldn't compute a single word he said liao.
I thanked him for telling me.

I called
1-01-05 11:40:57pm Tues
I hesitated at first, but I was dying to find out. He was eating broth..sorethroat. Asked me if anything, I told him I need to talk. He said he would call back.
That 10 mins...like forever, almost unbearable. I kept telling myself to keep cool. But tears starting to form...

He called
1-01-05 11:51:47pm Tues
He called back. During the 34 mins of conversation, I cried and cried...I asked him why he did not want to even try to patch things up last time...why he makes me confused...
All the WHYs...i receive one clear answer...no more feelings...
He said he should've told me 2 weeks ago, that he was just concern as friend and afraid I would misunderstand. I dun wanna go in details abt what we talked then...it's useless liao.
Oh, he did said he was with a new girl from office...just going out, not sure if she likes him.
His battery almost dead, said will call me back.

He called
02-02-05 12:31:16am Wed
We continued talking for around 7mins. Funny isn't it ? LX loved me so much yet my heart is with my ex, but my ex's heart is not with me...we concluded that we are always searching for someone whom we can love more than the person loves us.
I even wished him all the best, may he find his true love and happiness.

I called
02-02-05 12:39:46am Wed - 5 mins 26 seconds.
Oh...I have to ask him this. I called him back....request for a favour. If he ever wants to come back...I want him to promise me to let me know...he promised...only if I am still single.

Then I laid on my bed...stared into darkness...i did not sleep much...
morning woke up...diarrhea...vomitted. I guess the sign of depression is back. It happended 5 months ago.

As if not suey enough, morning...before I login, big boss chased me for update, said by tomorrow.
Ya, later 10am got training, 3 - 5 pm, meeting. I have to stay back la today...booked Soo Fong to teach me.

I will learn to let go bit by bit...but i still pray to God that some day my ex will come back to me. I will be fine...to all my friends...sis...thanks for your support. I am fine...just let me rot for few days, I will be able to pick myself up again...I am an Aries la...so no worries.
God Bless U all.