Feb 9 – 1st Day of CNY

I ended up sleeping around 5am. Surfing for jobs. Sako came at 10am. I was too sleepy. I could hear her talking with dad downstairs. Sleepily, I thought to myself that was a good sign…at least they are in talking terms…although ‘forced’. Tired being their middle person, passing message here and there. Dunno la, my dad and his siblings not close. Luckily I dun have such problem with my bro and sis.

11am, finally I dragged myself out from the bed. Alamak, constipation. Guess that colon cleanser pill not working this time. Had steamboat again, this time, the soup is so much tastier.

After brunch, I sat on the sofa. I feel a bit sad thinking about last CNY. It was my last CNY with my ex. Then, I had this feeling…I have to let go…I wanted to wait a little longer but I couldn’t hold any longer…so I decided to let go…the pain is almost unbearable…felt like all twisted and spinning… I excused myself to upstairs…like a speed of lightning, I locked my room’s door, stripped myself. As soon as I sit on it….priaaaaakkk…..tum….tum…. ** sigh ** ~~ !! Finally !! I managed to let go of the toxic in my tummy. Phew !! Relief !!

Relatives came and went. They came quite late. So, by the time I called my sis at 1pm our time, I guess sis was already asleep.

LX SMSed me to let him know once I am back from my grandma’s house. I asked why but he wouldn’t want to let me know why. I hope he wasn’t thinking about asking me to go to his house.

Showed my cousin Sue the bracelets and gift boxes I made. She loved it. She followed my dad & I to my other grandma’s place. On the way down, I saw my ex’s car passed by then turned into the Jelutong/Batu Lanchang curve. I couldn’t concentrate on my conversation with Sue. He was alone in the car…

Only Ah Lean Ee, Gong Ku and the maid were there….and Sue’s mom and bro still there waiting to fetch Sue back from there. This year no cookies, no celebration…nothing coz still mourning for granny since last June. We were there only about 10 mins before dad n I left to buy flowers for mom and grandparents. On the way to buy flowers, I sent my ex a SMS.

I SMSed
09-02-05 4:37:pm Wed
At yr grandma’s place?

He called
09-02-05 4:49:26pm Wed
I was still in the car when he called. He asked how did I came to know abt it? Slong saw him ? (his grandma’s house in the same block with Slong). Told him I was on the way to my granny’s place when I saw his car. He asked where my granny’s house is. (Hello ~~!! I thought u went there twice ! But he did not go to granny’s funeral…so perhaps he already erased it from his memory). I did not answer him, instead, asked if they are planning to go out again with the gang since Slong is still in Penang. He said no one said anything. Ok. He told me his parents went to his grandma’s place in the morning, so, he went later alone. Couldn’t talk much as dad was beside me, driving. So, had to end the conversation.

Ah Kong n Ah Ma’s place closed, so we went to Western Cemetery to put flowers for mom. Was sleepy n tired by the time reached home at 6pm. I wanted to take a nap but cannot, helped dad a bit. Cousin Small See SMSed that she would be coming over with her bf at 8.30pm for dinner as dad invited her to taste his chicken curry.

I called LX as promised. He said he missed me, asked if I can go out later with him. I told him my cousin coming over and me too tired. I asked him to come over at 9.30pm. See’s bf is 1 yr older than I, 5 yrs older than See. He looks nice, polite…am happy for her. Can feel like he’s the servant, she is the Queen.

Dad had dinner after they left. LX came, I was already hungry liao. Told him to sweep as much food as he can. We were so full, I had to make Chinese tea to digest. We watched American Idol (repeat) with dad. Then dad went to sleep.