A Blessed Christmas

I am trully blessed and surrounded with nice people, great friends and family members.
This Christmas indeed was so much greater than I expected. I thought I couldn't enjoy at all, but I did (although inside I still feel a lil' heavy n stressed with my job).

Went to mom's place before meeting bro.

I had a great time with my bro, Sis-In-Law, nephew Wilfred together with Meow at Ingolf's Kneipe. Initiallly, we went to Vintage Bulgaria. We were early (6pm), it was unplanned as my bro called me last minute to meet up at Island Plaza. So, we thought of having something before I meet up my dance gang for Shawn's Farewell (to US for 6 months - job training) cum Christmas celebration.

The place look cozy, I mean... Vintage Bulgaria, unfortunately, for Christmas, they only have set meals of 2 choices. And we cannot order ala-carte. So, we apologised to the waiter and went next door to Ingolf instead. We had to sit at the counter and all tables were reserved. No problem. Meow and I shared a cream soup and Fruits Salad.

Shared with Koko on our job challenges and stress. Am surprised and glad that Wilfred talked more matured now. He's very active in badminton and wished for a branded Racket....cost from 3 figures, up to 4 figures...good luck to his dad, hahaha.

7pm, we meet at 'No Eyed Deer' - another nice, warm and cozy restaurant. Food is great too.
I ordered Seafood Platter while Meow had the Jumbo Vienna Sausage Set. Nice. Pao Siang ordered British Fish Pie Set, taste good too. I tried Peter's Char-grilled Aromatic Duck Fillet Set nice also. Liana ordered Lamb but I didn't try. Susu, Shawn, Tracy and her daughter seated further, so a bit difficult to communicate as we were seated with few tables joined. Mel and Joshua shared Jumbo Vienna Sausage. There are a lot more yummy sets to choose from the menu.

Peter entertained her boy with his new sophisticated 'gasing' while the rest of us were busy with either the cameras or conversations.

We took some photos. Tracy's daughter also chipped in as the nite's photographer. So cute of her to snap individual's photo. We had group photo with our cute and delicious Gingerbread man made by Mel (Mei Shya) and again with our presents after the gift exchange session.

After dinner, we adjourned to Straits Quay (10pm) - a new shopping mall with long stretch of shop lots at Tanjong Tokong. More photos again... Meow and I then proceed to his friend's house for BBQ gathering, reached there slightly after 11pm. Had more food....not much la, I had 1 burnt chicken wing, few meatballss and short sausages. The guys played card while Meow watched them. I watched Astro and then stared at an interesting art piece on the wall...a modern abstract. Very captivating...at first glance, I saw an office overlooking a big glass pane, however...when I look longer....I see a woman waiting for someone at a harbour, a bottle of wine, a glass and a cigarette to indicate the long waiting moment. Too bad I didn't snap the photo. I could stare at it all day.

We left at 2am, I was getting tired as I slept late the nite before, or should I say morning (5am till 11am).

I am glad I had quite an interesting and full day of Christmas, full of events and friends around me.

So blessed and Praised the Lord.

Space on the Floor + MP4...

Today out of the blues... I suggested to Meow I wanna follow him to badminton court...a place where I would not be seen usually, not in so many years. Why ? Well, it's stuffy (no wind, no air-cond). I can suffocate eh.

Well, I got myself equipped, not with badminton racquet but a book and my MP4 player. Haha !

2 hours there...1st 15 mins... I munched away chips and Chickadee...hungry ma, no time to eat dinner. Next 20 mins...listened to my favourite songs.... damn, I then realised 80% of my songs are Rhumba songs. I was dancing in my mind...slowly my shoulders and head started to move, bit by beat...haha.

What else? I stood up...did very minor figure 8 moves....then next I knew...Time Step...and there I was... like a crazy gal... dancing away at a corner of the badminton court, totally ignorant to the ppl around. I had a good 45 mins 'workout'. I was sweating more than most of his colleagues. I wished I had brought along spare clothes to change and my ballet shoes (which I wear for practices - when my feet hurt).

I felt good coz I get to dance to my favourite songs. But the price for it? Blisters on my feet, ouch!

It's so hard to refrain from dancing when u see space on the floor, esp. wood parquet.... :P

Oops! I forgot I should rest for at least few days after my bone-setting session last nite ! Whole body's alignment - out.

When hope is frail...

When u are down to almost zero or negative...do not give up.

As long as there's hope...there will be changes. All you have to do is give it another chance.

A close friend told me....'when u had been in bad luck...but you believed in miracle.. the mircales doesn't exist.. what existed was your belief and your action that makes miracle possible'

I've learnt that patience and forgiveness can change things for better.

Thanks so much my dear friend, you are indeed the a Master of Positive Mind.

Who's the bigger idiot?

I was an idiot... but then you are an idiot too.... and then I am the idiot again.... or are you the idiot after all?

Can we stop being the idiots? If only you wish to...and if I can do so....but I guess, after all, I am the biggest idiot... I should stop being the idiot...can I stop ? Do I have to go through all this? Is it necessary ? Will I be able to? What an idiot !

Your smile...means a lot to me

Last nite for the first time in the past few months, I saw you smiled. Yes, it was a quick one, lasted for one second. Even though you were trying to avoid something you dislike...but your smile really meant a lot to me.

I saw the person I used to know... I miss you. I wish to see you smile more.

Does time heal?

When they say time will heal...does time really heal? How much time is needed ? How long do we need to wait? How long can we wait?

I don't think time heals...to me, it's the situation that heals. U can wait forever but things may not change. But if you choose to do something and take action, then you will see changes...hopefully for better.

Often, we do not have patience. With time, we might lose patience and interest. Sometimes, we get tired of waiting...so we give up or look for something better. After all, we seek for happiness...so why torture ourselves and go through the pain when we can have something better?

Well... some things are just hard to explain. It's what your heart really want...though your mind says another thing. Only you YOURSELF know what you really want. Only you know what makes you happy. Go for what makes you happy, try your best knowing you will not regret...rather than guess the outcomes of the 'what-ifs' later.

However, after you have tried and tried but the result is not what we you desired, perhaps it's time to move on. Perhaps, it's not meant to be. Perhaps, you are not appreciated. Perhaps you've been taken for granted. Perhaps... you deserve something/someone better.

So...waste no more time...for time does not wait for us... happiness is in our hands... Let go of the past and look forward to a better tomorrow.

Learn to forgive those who do not appreciate us, those who betrayed us, those who cheated on us, those who used us, those who misunderstood us, those who were unkind to us...forgive them just as God forgive us. Be at peace and you will find yourself at higher level and much happier state.

God bless all who have bad intentions, may they change to have good intentions before it's too late. God bless all who have negative thinking, may they be more positive and not be too quick to judge or react. May God bless all with lovingness, happiness, kindness and success in the best / positive intentions. Amen.

I thought...

You thought u knew, I thought I knew....but we did not know....we assumed and then it's not what it is...it wasn't what it should be... life is so complicated.

Expectations...assumptions...but without proper communication, there's not gonna be conclusion. But if we are willing to take a step back and review ourselves and other's feelings...things and situations can be improved. The only question left is... are you willing ?

I am... and I pray that you will.

I miss you....

A LOT !!

A year passed...

...and I am still lost...depressed...trying my best to stay positive. Many things happened last few months...too much to cope, too much to handle.

No one's sure what's gonna happen next. I can only pray for better.

We human always take things for granted. We forget to appreciate, we like to assume and we have this bad habit thinking we are always right. Then it's too late when we realised...when consequences turned out the way we least expected.

However, there's still hope, if u are willing to make things better. Do not blame others, listen and try to understand why things happened, why they did that...why things didn't work. Most of the time, both parties are at fault. But neither willing to admit and always hoping the other would change.

Love should be unconditional. Love involves a lot of patience and understanding. I hope it's never too late for everyone to understand their other half and make things better.

I have several complicated n failed relationships... I guess it must be my attitude and behaviour. I hope I can redeem myself and make things better in future.

I can only pray to God now for his blessings, I just want happiness and good health. I pray the same for you and all.