19 Feb, 16 years ago...I was just 16 yrs old when the worst news hit me and my family.
As teenagers, my sis and I had the worst nightmare turned to reality. For my bro who was reaching adulthood, he struggled to stand strong. For my dad who was in mid-40’s and at the peak of his career, he didn’t expect the shocking news and reality of losing someone dear. For the whole family, no one could believe someone so bubbly, kind, helpful, loving would no longer be around.
My mom was dying of cancer…she knew she suffered from it for years but she kept silent. She was afraid no one would be there to take care of my grandmother who suffered from stroke. Who would bathe her, clean after her, feed her ? Who would cook for the family and the dogs? Who would wash the clothes? Who would iron the clothes? Who would keep the house clean? Who would clean the washroom? Noooo….she thought to herself… I can’t go away, not even for a single day…how can I be admitted for weeks? Not her son or daughters….they are too busy with their own work and activities…not my kids, they are still young and need to concentrate on studies, not any foreign worker, they don’t give the best care or attention…I must hold on…and help the family for as long as I can. I must serve my duties as faithful wife / daughter-in-law / sis-in-law.
Sometimes, mom missed her family so much, she cried in the room alone. Whenever she had the chance to go home to her family, she burst into tears…thinking of how unappreciative the others had been to her, how her MIL rushed her to go back to house chores, how the sour faces she had to deal with after visiting her own family. She had no one to turn to, no one could understand her pain...unbearable pain, so much that she prayed to God to help her….and I believe God did answer her prayers.
19 Feb, 1992, right at 12noon, God answered Mom’s prayers. No more pain, no more sufferings, no more chores till late night (that required 2 or 3 servants), no more crying, no more fear…all that was left … a beautiful smile. I remembered Mom called dad’s name 3 times before she drew her last breath. Everyone in the room broke down, crying out loud. I watched from the edge of her bed. Silently, my tears rolled down my cheeks for about 5 mins. Silently, I prayed and thanked God. I could feel sense of ‘relief’ and peace. No doubt, right after the nurses cleanse my Mom’s mouth from the cancerous liquid… I could see how happy and peaceful Mom looked. Her eyes… as though she was peeking at us…her lips ‘curved’ into a very peaceful smile. She looked as if she was having a sweet dream. Even at the funeral parlour, the caretaker lady told me that she has never seen such a beautiful corpse before. Very at ease to lay eyes on.
I did not shed a single tear throughout her wake service and funeral. I remember seeing dad, bro and sis crying out loud. I told myself to be strong, I had to be strong, I have to be there to support them emotionally. I know Mom is at peace. I am happy for her. Thank you God for bringing Mom with you. Thank you for leaving us with all the wonderful memories. May she always be happy and peaceful in Heaven, Amen!
As teenagers, my sis and I had the worst nightmare turned to reality. For my bro who was reaching adulthood, he struggled to stand strong. For my dad who was in mid-40’s and at the peak of his career, he didn’t expect the shocking news and reality of losing someone dear. For the whole family, no one could believe someone so bubbly, kind, helpful, loving would no longer be around.
My mom was dying of cancer…she knew she suffered from it for years but she kept silent. She was afraid no one would be there to take care of my grandmother who suffered from stroke. Who would bathe her, clean after her, feed her ? Who would cook for the family and the dogs? Who would wash the clothes? Who would iron the clothes? Who would keep the house clean? Who would clean the washroom? Noooo….she thought to herself… I can’t go away, not even for a single day…how can I be admitted for weeks? Not her son or daughters….they are too busy with their own work and activities…not my kids, they are still young and need to concentrate on studies, not any foreign worker, they don’t give the best care or attention…I must hold on…and help the family for as long as I can. I must serve my duties as faithful wife / daughter-in-law / sis-in-law.
Sometimes, mom missed her family so much, she cried in the room alone. Whenever she had the chance to go home to her family, she burst into tears…thinking of how unappreciative the others had been to her, how her MIL rushed her to go back to house chores, how the sour faces she had to deal with after visiting her own family. She had no one to turn to, no one could understand her pain...unbearable pain, so much that she prayed to God to help her….and I believe God did answer her prayers.
19 Feb, 1992, right at 12noon, God answered Mom’s prayers. No more pain, no more sufferings, no more chores till late night (that required 2 or 3 servants), no more crying, no more fear…all that was left … a beautiful smile. I remembered Mom called dad’s name 3 times before she drew her last breath. Everyone in the room broke down, crying out loud. I watched from the edge of her bed. Silently, my tears rolled down my cheeks for about 5 mins. Silently, I prayed and thanked God. I could feel sense of ‘relief’ and peace. No doubt, right after the nurses cleanse my Mom’s mouth from the cancerous liquid… I could see how happy and peaceful Mom looked. Her eyes… as though she was peeking at us…her lips ‘curved’ into a very peaceful smile. She looked as if she was having a sweet dream. Even at the funeral parlour, the caretaker lady told me that she has never seen such a beautiful corpse before. Very at ease to lay eyes on.
I did not shed a single tear throughout her wake service and funeral. I remember seeing dad, bro and sis crying out loud. I told myself to be strong, I had to be strong, I have to be there to support them emotionally. I know Mom is at peace. I am happy for her. Thank you God for bringing Mom with you. Thank you for leaving us with all the wonderful memories. May she always be happy and peaceful in Heaven, Amen!
Pictures they exchanged when courting
Mom was young
Koko at Mom's on CNY 2008
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