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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Christmas Eve Part 2

I wanted to create a white lie (at least I thought so) to my current bf, but was hesitant. So I play safe by testing his reaction, asking what if I go out with my ex on X'mas eve. He responded that it was not the matter of who I went out with, but why I did not choose to spend Christmas Eve with him. I then told him (again) that I was upset when he did not think of celebrating with me (alone) first. Well, in the end I told him I was going out with my ex. He seemed ok, he even asked me to eat faster so as I can go home for my shower before my ex fetched me at around 7.30pm.

In the shower, I was already so excited, I know I should not be, but I was happy, not because I think that anything's gonna happen but I was just plain happy to be seeing him (for at least 5 hours !!). I had a blue/white/black stripes top with a 3 quarter white cardigan on to complement with black slacks. Had my mascara on, very light make-up. Changed to the anniversary ring he bought for me (although I went to buy it first, he paid later). He did notice I had the ring on coz he commented something about it but I could not remember what about. I was ready and waiting at the porch by 7.25pm. He hasn't showed up yet. 7.38pm, I called him, could hear from the background, some music...he was in the car, on the way. Yes ! I got even more excited although I was starting to sweat.

10 mins later, he was there in front of my house. He looked gorgeous, with his new hairstyle. Initially, wanted to have dinner in town but the coastal highway was jammed and he was hungry. So, turned back, went to Sungai Dua to hunt for food. Ended up in a new chinese restaurant (named Hong Kong Small Eat - I think so, can't remember). The food was so so only but the drinks not bad. I had Mango Cha Cha (ice blended mango with jellies) and he had mango shake plus pork chop rice. He did not finish the rice. We talked alot. I found out that he would actually 'yim hei' me as I am now with my current. So, that is a factor of him not wanting me back as well. I was upset but I did not show it in my face. Coz on the other hand, he was telling me he wants someone who is more outgoing for his next gf. :(

9.05pm, headed towards Gurney Plaza. Found a parking in housing area opposite to Gurney Plaza. Thank God I wasn't wearing too high...had those beaded heels (1 inch) on. We bought chicken nuggets (6 pieces) plus Popcorn and drinks. Just in time for toilet and movie. "A World Without Thieves" starred by Andy Lau and Rene Liu. Not bad for a chinese movie, interesting and touching.


Show ended. It was 12.05am, MERRY CHRISTMAS !! We reached groundfloor, could hear excited noises and firecrackers colouring the dark sky. It was crowded with many youngers, spraying cans of colourful and some creamy stuff. Even by just standing around, we can't run away from those papers on our hair and clothes. I had this feeling, I miss my current bf. In fact, during the movie, I did miss him. I felt bad I guess. So, I called him to wish him. He sounded sad. I wasn't sure if he was crying or just cried. I did not ask. I pretended not to notice. Told him I will call him once I reach home. My ex was also on the phone talking to his best pal. Then we felt a few drops on rain. Everyone started to rush back to Gurney, so did we. We waited for a while before decided to walked towards the car. We managed to reach his car as the rain started to pour. It was like helping us to clear the road.

He asked if I am hungry, he said wanna have supper. Of course I am ok but dunno why I felt a heavy heart as I SMS my bf telling him I will be late, asked him to sleep first. My ex called his colleague, Kevin, new guy from KL, teamleader...quite handsome, looks alot like YS. We went to Pelita at Sg. Dua. I did not eat as I was still full with popcorn. They talked mostly as I was a bit tired and dunno what to talk...they talked mostly about work. By 2.30am, we call it quit. I was contented that I had 7 hours with him !! That's like almost a full working day :))
Don't get me wrong, nothing happened. Seeing him was enough.

Back home, I had my shower as quickly as I can, then I called my bf, he was mumbling from his dreamland. I wished him good night, not sure if he knows it was me calling. Went to sleep, almost 4am...tired...happy....yet a bit guilty esp. after I heard my bf's voice. Oh well...too tired to think...ZZzzzzzz


Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas Eve



It's Christmas eve today...in fact 2 weeks ago, I already had this sad feeling...I miss last Christmas. That was the first time he gave me a surprise, first time he really put effort, makes me feel so special. He booked a place for dinner...way before Christmas. We had dinner by the pool with live band singing...i will never forget last Christmas.

This year...today, it would never be the same. He's no longer mine. I called him yesterday, asked if he's going anywhere yet. He said dunno. His colleague, Cheok whom he hangs out with alot, has gone back to KL to visit his dad. Then another colleague Jethro is away for holiday. His look-alike-best-pal, SL will be attending party with his gf. So, he's not sure what to do.

As for me, I won't be joining my current bf tonight, at least I don't plan to. He will be fetching his close pal from airport at around 8.30pm and then to dinner...asked me to join but I don't feel like it, although I know Mei Leng from Dell (used to be in Finance). They got close from playing badminton. Initially, I wanted to book a place to celebrate but before I managed to do so, he asked if I am ok if he meets her tonight. Of course I say ok. Dun mistaken, I am not jealous, but ...u know....why today ? X'mas eve maaa....sigh ~~!! Never mind...so I told him to go ahead, I will find my own plans. He insisted I follow or see me after that, he said got something to give me. I already know what he's giving me. I read his MSN chat log ( I know I shouldn't but I think I cannot trust him ever since he told me he still loves Shirin)...he asked Mei Leng to buy me something from Singapore.

Anyway, back to my ex, I told him last nite, if he really has nothing to do and feel "mou liu", then perhaps 2 "mou liu" ppl can at least go out and have dinner or something ma. He laughed and said he will let me know how.

So here I am, 3.14pm, at work, but nothing to do, anxiously waiting and wondering if he will really call me tonight.
3.19pm - he calls me !! Yes, my-ex calls me ! He said "Tonite 10pm, movie...Gurney. We go for dinner around there first. I'll pick you up at around 6.30pm". Wow !! Sounds like everything arranged and I cannot even reject if I wanted to, not that I would, I was smiling to myself...but another part of me was worried how my bf's gonna take it if he knows...should I tell him ? Hmm...I feel bad...for doing this, but I cannot let go of my ex.

Counting down...thanks and praise the Lord for answering my prayers !! This is the best X'mas gift I had. Hallelujah !!