It wasn't the first time, might not be the last time.. I cried at work yesterday. Too frustrated and stressed with nonsense people and requests.
Told Meow to go home first. After work I saw two cute cats...such a comfort. Wish can adopt them. The female one more manja like my Gal. The white male more aggressive when I tried to approach it. He wanted to play with me but I was afraid of it's sharp claws.
How I miss my Gal Gal.
Feeling sick like when I worked at Plexus more than a year ago. But not as bad yet.
That nausea and wanna vomit feeling every morning when I woke up.
It's like I have so many things to be done and rushing all the time. I can feel my heart doing marathon competing with my brain while my hands trying to catch up (24 hrs Numb and painful wrist not helping).
More things coming up. Almost in tears again today. There were moments I just felt weak...physically and lost energy to hold the mouse or type.
I feel bad lately I didn't even get to turn or look at people when they talked to me coz I am all always rushing or focusing on something important. Not to mention my bad mood n temper.
'Trees' testing my patience. Their intelligence level is sometimes worse than Six year olds. They can ask you funny and stupid questions over and over again, like three times within less than five minutes. Amazing!!
And more n more had graduated from 'Tai Chi' classes. These are the ones really get to my nerves.
Oh! How can I miss out those 'blur' or 'innocent' ones. They are the ones need to be extra cautious over. Anytime can put you on table or give u a few stabs from behind.
Every day is like war. Tomorrow another day at battlefield. Wish me luck. I dunno how much longer I can cope holding two roles. I need my break. I want to take leave. Tired nya.
Fri Nov 16 was the first time I had fish cooked medium. I didn't know it was not well done. The chef asked if I wanted one. I gladly nodded.
Back to the table my with new sales team, I happily feasted on my pick of choices from the buffet tables.
When I cut into that piece of fish, I sort of panicked. I saw 50% raw meat. What should I do? Chuck it aside? That would be a waste. After a few seconds, I gathered all the courage I needed to swallow that sweet tender juicy meat (as what it should be for those who enjoy raw meat).
First bite was like okay...not too bad. Second bite...hmmm...I am not biting anything. Third one, I cut a bigger portion as I can't wait to finish it off. By the fourth bite, I was no longer 'eating' or rather, I was no longer myself. I sort of convinced my soul to leave my body that few mins. It was just me n my fingers plus my mouth doing some actions. Unfortunately, I couldn't finish it. It was mere 4 x 6 cm size of medium cooked fish. I had to chuck the 20% of leftover to the side of my plate n cleverly covered with two scallop shells.
This was worse than the time I tried raw salmon at Japanese restaurant. That time I just swallowed the whole raw piece of salmon after one chew of bite. Eweee ~~ !! I can't survive in stone age! At least it was Japanese food...I had reason to put all in one mouthful n swallow. So it wasn't that bad but definitely no more second time. At least not in this life.
I didn't eat much as I was not that hungry from the yummy chocolate brownies we had earlier in office celebrating Gavin's birthday.
But still managed to spoil my taste buds with some desserts n ice creams. It was also the first time I didn't have any coffee at a buffet. Not because I didn't want to but they didn't replenish it. Haha!
I had great time mingling with the team. It was great to see them getting rewards n certs for their hard effort. They even got shopping vouchers for top achievers selling most Ship Fast units which I now handle. Great to see motivation and appreciation by their management. Perhaps one day I might consider joining Sales team...maybe wait till my 'limits' at border.
Work has been pretty stressful and it sucks when feeling not appreciated. Even more discouraging seeing negative 'things' happening. I need more positive environment. Am tired with negative people. It's also tiring to comfort people when I myself needed peace of mind and to recharge myself.
Sometimes I just like to be left alone. Alone in my thoughts. My crowded thoughts...where I would pick a few to dwell in. Then I would feel motivated again and come back stronger.
Other times, I would just not think of anything but bury myself with art...matching those shiny tiny beads gave me freedom and peace. Joy and satisfaction too. This is how I keep myself happy.
That night I got Haagen Daaz vouchers. Happy not because it's free but because I feel appreciated by the team. A nice and humble team. At least I feel better supporting them.
This is what God wants me to do. Face more challenges and know more people. Stretching my patience a bit more each time. You'll be surprise that you are more capable than you think you are.
